25 (1999) - any pronouns (she/he/they/it...) - nonbinary femme sapphic princess animal - fictosexual & collared - intersex - autistic & dissociative - perverted maiden & little freak
I'm Emil and I consider myself a strange little entity of sorts. I don't think I'm the most sociable person out there but I sure do like to talk into the void, which is largely what I'm doing here. I don't really expect many people to read this that don't already know these things about me! Anyway, if you haven't seen me since 2021-ish, lots of these things are probably like, huh? What? Don't worry! I did so much self-discover in 2024 that I feel a bit like a different person. Well, not entirely. But my self-expression and identity took some massive shifts once I hit 25, which I think is good and awesome. I'm probably more comfortable with myself than I've been in a while.
Ever since I developed long-covid and got what's probably-most-likely light brain damage I've had to contemplate what I like to do besides art. These days I devote most of my energy to reading, kandi, studying, games and whatever I can do from my bed mildly comfortably. I draw when I can, but I operate on a level with much less energy than I used to have. It's sorta like my capacity to do most things lowered a bit, but I still have just as much space in my brain devoted to my art and work. I dream about working in a library/museum/community center or doing anything related to art/archival remotely. Or just any remote job really. As for right now, I have an in-person job that I mostly like and that's enough for me on most days.
If you're curious about fictosexuality and my status or whatever, I'm taken by my lovely boyfriend of like 5-6 years now. He's really great and tolerates/encourages all my weird affection and admiration for Ivan Alien Stage. I say it's kind of like when nuns get 'married' to Jesus and it's the closest I've gotten to explaining it to people who aren't ficto/insane in some way. Deep down it's probably a coping mechanism for some shit I don't even know. Armchair psychologists have fun. At the end of the day it's not hurting anyone and it motivates me to think about Ivan so who cares.
Some of my favorite things include Nier, FFXIV, Infinity Nikki, Project Moon, RPGMaker Horror Games (Ib, Hello Charlotte, Off...) Alien Stage, Kandi, CD Collecting, Zines, Animals (namely little animals with big beady eyes like sugar gliders, jerboas and mice), robot companions (aibo), Art (as a subject & activity, I didn't study art history and go to college for it for nothing), Vocaloid (my playlist), Writing, learning in general (I enjoy being a student and do well in academic settings), Wizard101, Slime, Self-Indulgent Yaoi/Yuri, Otome, Horror/Surreal Art
I don't have a DNI because I don't think people actually read them or listen to them. People ignored mine when I had one, at least. I just don't fuck with incest/fauxcest/lolishota/feederism/ddlg/feral porn. Ideally no minors if you'll listen to me. I don't post NSFW without warnings or anything it's just that I don't think my site or anything is kid friendly.